I've encountered this woman twice while out drinking. I have no name for her, let's just call her The Odd Duck, or OD for short.
What's so odd about her? She has approached me twice and both times she starts talking like we're in the middle part of a conversation. And both times she sort of attacked from behind.
The first time, I was standing with a friend of a friend and we were being smartasses about the mutual friend while he disappeared to go to the bathroom. Typical guyish ha-ha-har-har putdowns that guys make about friends to signal they're friendly. This chick starts talking and says something to the effect of "I can't wait for him to come out so I can see him." No hellos, no nothing. That's the first thing she says.
I look at the friend and he looks at me, because we're both figuring she must know the other. We quickly establish with nonverbal cues that neither of us knows her and decide to ignore her and keep talking. But, she continues. Huh? And she moves in toward me and tries to chat me up. And we're both very confused and decide to move away. She decides to move along and talk to someone else. Whew. Weirdness averted.
Several weeks later, at the same place, I'm standing at the bar trying to order when I see an arm push in front of me from the left and toss something in the ash tray to my right. A little weird, because there was a tray to my left. But, I don't think much of it, because it's crowded and whatever.
Then I here a voice in the direction the arm came from launching into a monologue about rude behavior and how "peopleneversayexcusemebutI'mnotlikethat". I turn and look. It's The Odd Duck. Only, this time she's wearing weird technicolor makeup in kind of an Amy Winehouse style. (FTR, the OD is cuter than Amy Winehouse, not that that's particular hard to achieve.)
And she keeps going on for about three paragraphs in this style and I'm just looking at her. Now, I don't project a lot of emotion unless I want to. If someone's in desperate need of a hint, I'm not the best person to give it to them. I can be very stonefaced, especially when I'm just trying to process the current data.
I don't like being approached by women. And, frankly, I tend to just look off curveballs. So, without saying anything to her, I just go back to looking earnestly at the bartender. This stops her from talking, but she keeps standing there for several more seconds before she decides to move on.
Now, to be clear, the Odd Duck is cute enough that if she didn't ambush me and act weird, I could work toward being interested in her. Actually, the more I think about that, the more I think that's bullshit. Because while she's cute, she doesn't stand out from a crowd at all.
I generally try to have some sympathy for the socially retarded, since I've been there. But, one of my real weak points is that I don't handle unanticipated behaviors from women very well. If you don't follow the social script as I understand it, it's very hard for me to engage you in an impromptu conversation. I need a salutation and a bit of a breathing space for introductions. I need the woman in question to not advance too aggressively so I have time to read the conversation comfortably and set aside any misgivings I may have. It's not easy for me to have a stranger come out of nowhere and start taking before I've even made eye contact.
I wish I had an opportunity to catch the Odd Duck before she opens me. She seems a little odd, but not dangerously. Just odd. I don't have a problem with that. But, she throws me off balance with this weird approach she has.
Does she think I should know her? That doesn't make sense, because people tend to get lightly miffed when you don't recognize them and they think you should.
My best guess is that this is the only way she knows how to engage a stranger. It's sort of a direct, jump-in method.
She seems to orbit around the bar by herself. I don't see her with a set of anyone. After both failed approaches she reverted to the same location, standing by herself with a drink.
I don't know what to think of it. My inclination is to give her the benefit of the doubt. But, I don't see that quite working unless she doesn't ambush me the next time she's at the bar.
Just weird. Something to process, I suppose.