Tuesday, July 30, 2013


This is a post I am purely writing for the sake of throwing it in the main sidebar of the page.

Ladies?  Let's talk about what you are even doing here.  You came to this blog because you Googled some damn phrase like "why is he so aloof with me" or "trying to read an aloof man".

I know I'm not going to dissuade you from your mission. Like every human adult ever caught in possession of a vagina, you think you're special.  You think this one fabulous aloof guy you're trying to turn is going to work wonders for you.  I'd like to warn you, but I know better based upon LOTS of experience, that you think you're special and that nothing I'm writing here applies to you.

How do I know this?  I am that guy.

I have spent my whole life watching women try to figure me out.  In fact, watching women spin themselves in circles trying to get my attention is one of my favorite sources of narcissistic pleasure.  Read a couple of the posts about my life experience.  I have strung multiple women along for years -- literally multiple twelve month cycles -- purely for the benefit of my ego.

In more cases than I should ever want to admit to, I strung them along without a glimmer of hope.  When I mean without a glimmer of hope, I mean zero sex, zero dates, zero anything.  A little bit of talk.  And not even much of that, if we're being honest.

I'm not some sexless defective pervert.  I've fucked more than my fair share of chicks within two hours of meeting them.  And I've made out with way more within an hour of saying hello.

There are in-between cases.  Heck, one chick even got off-and-on sex for two years.  But, I've never told any woman that I love her.  I've gotten my rocks off watching numerous chicks do everything in their power to induce me into a relationship.  And I hafta say I do enjoy occasionally blowing off the odd 8+ every now and then just to watch her get huffy and storm off.  Nothing quite makes my day like watching some chick who thinks she's hot shit directly come on to me and fail miserably while trying repeatedly to get me to react.

Here's the brutal truth about me.  My experiences from childhood through my early 20s taught me to never trust.  Gaining my trust requires an investment of time and effort that escapes the capability of ANY human female.  Women do not openly question aloof men because, at the end of the equation, the female sexual imperative places more value on being pursued than on getting the right guy.

Be honest with yourself.  If you're after an attractive, aloof guy and you're reading this, you're trying to figure out a way to rig the game and trick him into hitting on you.  It's that simple.

Guess what?  You're a dumbfuck.  You're wasting your time and you are going to fail.  Worse?  Your wonderful and completely useless ovaries release chemicals into your bloodstream that prevent you from ever just skipping line and directly asking him anything.

YOU DON'T HAVE IT IN YOU.  Being a woman makes you a joke in that regard.  Be honest with yourself about that fact.  Women don't take real risks, even when they are convinced they have met the man of their dreams.  Women will sooner cry themselves to sleep wondering why an aloof guy doesn't hit on them than actually just say something.

This is why dominant men run the planet.  This is why women will be treated like shit until the end of time.  Because, women DO NOT HAVE IT IN THEM.  Women don't take risks.  Women would sooner marry a less desirable man who wants to pursue them than risk being direct with a more desirable man.

In short.  Give up.  Accept what you are and move on to finding the inferior man who will at least humor your bullshit.  You can't hotwire an aloof man.  Don't bother trying.


  1. Actually, I'm here cuz of the Plenty of Fish stuff. I wrote a few blogs on the subject myself before I met my other half on there an was looking for some writing to compare it to.

    But I was kinda compelled on reading this to say, Dude, I AM special. Yeah, I even ask my other half for stuff outright (mainly because I CANNOT be arsed to wait around and see if he works out what I want without me telling him. I'd be waiting all freaking year).

    I think it's far more important that he works me out than the other way round. I'm awesome, and if he's not working his arse off to be with me he is not worth it. In return, I am an amazing girlfriend to have, relaxed, I don't nag, I don't care if he spends all his wages on a new electric guitar and I dont care if he spends all night out with his band mates; I'm going out with my mates anyway.

    My other half is aloof, I don't know loads of shit about him but if he wants to tell me he will.

    All this said, I know I am a rarity. I am a bird who well and truly does not suffer from the usual bird paranoia. I've not heard from him all day so far, but I haven't text him a million times asking what he's doing, who he's with, etc etc, blah blah. He's just busy. He'll text when he wants me.

    So, despite the fact that the above post is wrong - I cannot be the only girl out there that is actually sane (do you reckon you just attract the crazies? Or do you cause women to go crazy?) I enjoyed your online dating posts. bitches be well and truly mental, but you ought to check out some of the crazy men I dated from that website... and I mean stalker-freaky type mental. One of them has only just stopped texting me, and we went on our one and only date in JANUARY. Psycho. he also told me he loved me about a week after that date when I told him I totally wasn't up for his psycho bullshit. yuck.

    Anyhoo, You've amused me enough to get me signed up. Keep it up. ;)

    1. 1. I am aware of how patently terrible online dating can be for women. I don't believe I was discrediting the female experience with OLD at all. Just stating my side of it as a guy.

      2. "do you reckon you just attract the crazies? Or do you cause women to go crazy?"

      I run into vastly more crazies from OLD than I do IRL. I think I have stated I believe the issue is a form of selection bias.

      3. It's worth noting you make sure to pat yourself on the back for attracting a stalker. Never met a chick in my life who didn't make sure to score the stalker as a point in her favor.

      4. Based on what I saw of your stuff, you're not a spring chicken. Some women -- not all -- do actually realize that life comes with a deadline. It does happen. I haven't dated one, but I am aware of the phenomenon.

      5. The fact you came in here looking for the OLD stuff and not the "how can I trick an aloof guy into asking me out" route makes a big difference. The chicks trying to hack into the brain of an aloof guy who isn't doing what she wants are stuck on a particular idea.

      6. Whatever your aloof guy is, I'm guessing he ain't me. Truth is, I only nibble around the edges of the worst stories. There's a lot I just will not touch. "Aloof" is a polite term in my case. "Thoroughly damaged" would be more appropriate.

      Anyhoo . . . glad I could entertain you.

  2. Why You Piece Of Fucken Shit. How do you know ? This made me laugh hell loud and mad hahaha But its totally true hahaha Thanks for my laugh. Xo Desi

  3. What you are saying has a lot of truth in it... but to be honest my self-esteem has dropped even lower after reading this. I was happy because I had the guts to ask the guy I like out to a movie (something I never do with any male) but now that I see that no woman is special, that no one woman can get a guy (aloof or whatever) they want because they are full of themselves... How am I supposed to feel hearing that?
    But I will say this: whatever you have been through that makes you feel the way you do is for a reason.
    I am sorry people have hurt you and made you feel the way you do now and I am sorry that you feel like you need to get gratification by hurting women you are clearly not interested in. I do not mean this as a back-handed apology, so I apologise again if that's how it sounds.
    I'm very lonely as a person, but I cannot imagine how you feel... So I don't question why you feel the way you do, rather why not?

    I really care about the guy I mentioned... He is also frank like yourself, so I am just going to care about him and try to see how I feel myself. It has been a confusing time for me
    But reading this made me realise that I should not only be honest with myself, but just as open with the guy I am interested in, so for that I thank you.

    I wish you all the best.

  4. Super weird to me that someone gets off watching woman get attached and fall on their head to find out it was a play.... For fun! Yikes!

    1. @Jennifer: Sadism takes many forms.

    2. What I take from reading this is that you have major insecurities and in some way you're jealous of the way women allow themselves to trust others without thinking everyone is out to get them. As an adult you should try working on your trust issues, abandonment issues, and heal past whatever you went through on your childhood. I'm going to tell you what I tell my ex (he's my ex because he hates the fact that I see gods bullshit and correct him on ot) Your issues make you look and sound immature, insecure, and very unattractive. Since you know so much about women...how about women don't have to ask because we have something called intuition. We will choose to listen to our intuition or choose to ignore it for whatever reason or motive we have. You aren't fooling the women that you've been with. They can see your bullshit. The question is why have they chosen to put up with it? You believe that you're playing a game...I would be more concerned with the game that those women are running you through if I were you. I'm actually here to because I want to help my ex get over his issues. It is ruining his life and no one wants to be around him. He falls in and out of depression and he won't allow himself to realize that he's creating his own pain. Just like you he's built himself up to believe that he is God's gift to women while women are compete trash. In reality he is a wimpy, weak, insecire, broken, and undesirable soul. It's sad that you believe you're doing something clever or paying women back when in reality you're a wimpy peon that nobody wants to be around and you know it. The right woman isn't even attracted to all of that. And the women that stick round have their own agenda and motives too. Get some help with your past issues. It would be sad to live life without real love, joy, and happiness all because you are too simple and weak to deal with your pain. Spread love.

    3. "I want to help my ex get over his issues"

      This sounds about as credible as the moment in a sci-fi where the aliens say, "Do not run! We come in peace."

      I rarely feel compelled to blast both barrels calling bullshit at a female commenter on this blog, but this is some legit bullshit.

      Women have magical intuition? Bullshit.

      Looking out for an ex? Bullshit.

      The relentless need to degrade men while claiming they're degrading you? Bullshit.

      Spread love? After all the bile you spewed? Bullshit.

  5. Ladies. You wanna make a player the fucking little bitch that he is, harden up and be a fucking asshole. Its simple, basically you just act like this fucking guy who wrote this.
    Also be a kinky ass bitch in the bedroom, make the dog chase the fuckin bone ladies.

  6. "be a kinky ass bitch"

    Honestly, you could probably stop right there and it would be all the advice that's needed.

    Not entirely true, but I won't deny that the most "on" girl has gotten my attention more often than anyone else.

    1. I just wanna set the record straight though, not all women wanna be with guys like you, some women just wanna fuck you haha 😂 pls I just wanna fuck you cos you're hot and you're tryna play cat and mouse haha why are you wasting both of our valuable fuckin time with these bullshit games ? Haha boys... 💁

    2. NAWALT is a meaningless argument. Not all women have to be.

      "these bullshit games"

      Criminals make the same argument toward the police when taken into custody. The police continue to play their bullshit games, too. Why? It works.

      Haha, girls.

      I do find it fascinating that telling me off seems to be a mission of certain female readers. Why should any of you care, since you're so sure I'm wrong?

  7. I am 100% with the "Aloof Guy" on this. His essay on online dating really hits it on the head.

    Moreover, women can call the Aloof Guy a chauvinistic pig all they want, but as usual, women come up empty handed on facts.

    1. Even female researchers like Dr. Helen Smith, and dating coaches like Joshua Pompey, are speaking out against the American women and their bizarre behavior: they have become “shallow, super picky, fickle, and promiscuous.” The vast majority are no longer good mothers who can raise children or even manage a household, and devoted wives who stand by their husbands. 75% of all divorces are initiated by women for no other reason than “irreconcilable differences,” since they can’t even figure out why they want a divorce. Men know how oppressive the divorce courts are toward them, so they are “on strike” in the Western world and won’t marry. Most women are too stupid to figure out the true reasons behind this phenomenon, so the only simple explanation that their confined minds can understand is that men are “commitment phobes.”
    2. 75% of American women are obese or overweight. Add their entitled bitchy attitude to their weight, and no wonder American men yearn for Asian or Russian women. American women want a tall, handsome, athletic, and rich guy since feminism has taught they that they are all entitled to it, even though most have absolutely nothing to offer to a guy like that, and won’t even try since they take but won’t give.
    3. An absolute fact is that the majority of women gain weight, and also develop a lack of desire for sex soon after they snag a guy and get married. Social research also shows that many women hide their true personality until after marriage, and a man learns about the narcissistic selfish bitch he married only too late. Then they withhold sex until they get payment in myriad of forms (gifts, cars, home, etc.). What is the difference between these women and a prostitute? A prostitute is more honest about her intentions, and as such more honorable than a woman who uses sex to manipulate her husband.

    Get ready for dying of old age ladies without finding true love; a pool of loser guys to choose from, and living in a house full of cats. Good and successful men have had it with you and your feminism bullshit, and there are many “Men Going Their Own way” (Google MGTOW if you don’t believe me).

    1. Is wrong of me to not be that supportive of someone supporting me?

      I don't actually see much of the issue that way. In the broadest sense, I think modern culture makes people crazy, but I think modern feminism is such a broken down trainwreck of an idea that you can't even call it a coherent idea that can be attacked. TBH, feminism in 2015 largely exists as an imaginary strawman for right-wingers to attack. There just aren't many women around anymore who would claim to be feminists.

      As for weight and expectations and such . . . An astonishingly large percentage of women who've been into me lost weight. This idea that women just get fatter and fatter is a bit overplayed in my experience. Are there women who do? Sure. There are lots of people who stop giving a fuck as they get older, and that's entirely their right.

      As for MGTOW . . . It will never pan out. It's evolutionarily maladaptive. Some other dude is gonna get his dick wet and therefore he wins the genetic game.

      "Social research also shows that many women hide their true personality until after marriage"

      This is hardly gender-exclusive. People lie like motherfuckers, period.

      Anyhoo . . . that's my two cents.

      I tend to be coming at the woman problems thing from an entirely different angle. That's what years of reading lots of blogs has taught me.

  8. ... I think modern culture makes people crazy,

    Fair point, but feminism is certainly a big part of that culture. It has taught women to squarely put the blame on men for all the ills in the world, therefore perpetuating their "crazy" behavior by never holding them accountable for it. How many time have you seen a woman get divorced or dumped by a guy, only to see her female friends rally around her and call her ex a pig or whatever, even if she was the one who brought her misery entirely upon herself?

    And back to your point on culture, some times I wonder why the American women are the least happy in the industrialized world? Because they can't be--unhappiness is the engine of our consumerist society. Why else would they buy things unless they are taught to become unhappy with what they have, which creeps into all aspects of their lives?

    I agree that culture certainly plays a part in this mess and has made the American women who the are, but they don't have to follow the herd, hard as it may be.

    1. "It has taught women to squarely put the blame on men for all the ills in the world"

      Blaming the opposite sex far predates feminism. The most that can be said is that feminism politicized the dispute.

      "Why else would they buy things "

      What I've read on the subject suggests that it's a self-soothing behavior that imitates the investment of a mate.

      In truth, I just don't see the need to take a relatively simple problem and make it into something needlessly complicated. Both genders blame each other for not living up to their ideal model of a mate.

      Simply put: people suck. Why make it into a PhD level discussion?

  9. lmao, confessions of a dirty manslut.

  10. You are the equivalent of a slut, so no i will not take your words to heart

    1. What's so slutty about my behavior?

    2. Hazel,

      The Aloof Guy used some pretty strong words against women--no doubt about that. However, he defended his claims with some clear and coherent logic.

      When you use words like "manslut" (or whatever else like your sisters), it only goes to prove that the Aloof guy is right and that you know he is right, since you are attacking him personally because you could not take his argument apart.

      If women presented a clear case against guys like Aloof; rather than engage in juvenile behavior, men would not have been having such low view of modern women.

  11. I was direct with a more desirable man. I had it in me. ..And I took that "risk" However, it didn't work. As expected, he was aloof. I will take your advice in that last sentence you written. Wish I discovered this blog earlier. The honesty is much appreciated.

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  13. Incredible! I found this page while googling, 'guys find me aloof' to find this interesting read.

    I thought the author was a terrible person until I got to the end where he actually saves women the heart ache and gives them advice. I mean, what a hero.

    Thanks for the heads up. If I ever actually genuinely like an aloof guy I will remember the sadistic tendencies mentioned here and spare myself the agony.

    There are other great and attractive men in the world who don't play unforgiving mind games.

  14. Dear me, what have I treaded upon? This, sir, is one of the most amusing posts I ever read in my life. I stumbled here after googling "aloof guys" out of sheer curiosity and to think this interesting piece of text exists. I have quite enjoyed your blog entry Mr. Aloof Guy.

    What can I say? I suppose you have yet to meet a women in possession of keen intellect and witty charms. I sense from your post a lack of lacklustre in your life.. Would you care to hear another similar story? From an aloof girl as I nonetheless!

    Anyways, some guys think aloof girls are a challenge as they seem hard to get or whatever. But when they realize that this same girl has a bookish nature and ever so analytical mind, they simply forfeight in defeat as they can't seem to handle highly intellectual conversations; what a bore honestly. I dont agree that we should attend to every whim which our genitalia wishes to endevour based on pure chemical reactions only. I think the most wonderful form of attraction begins in the mind, through interesting conversations as two inquisitive people venture into euphoric conceptual ventures...

    Thanks for reading :)

  15. Wow. You act like it is the woman's responsibility to tear down your walls and most women just don't have it in them. So you toy with them because you don't have it in you to deal with your own shit and solve your own problems. That is fucked up. Instead just say you are too much of a coward to break down your shit and grow as a human. You are getting rewarded for just being a dick

  16. So, I have to thank you for your honesty, because it really did save me months of embarrassment as I think I've been dating a guy similar to you who gets some sick satisfaction from watching girls like me jump through hoops trying to get his attention. It was a hard pill to swallow, but it helped knowing that there are horrible people in the world that I should not waste my time on and so now I will try to find a less sadistic male human being. So for that I thank you. I do hope you get help, though, for real. You seem a bit messed up. Best of luck.

  17. I don't know that I'd shit can the guy that fast. There's some argument for just overtly asking. (I know that's not what women do, but I throw it out for the sake of thoroughness.)

    You might be surprised what you can learn by speaking to someone rather than hoping to read through on the basis of something tangentially related that you read on the Internet.

  18. Awwww I love this rant..my sis actually sent me this link ...as I am absolutely smitten with a very attractive and aloof guy. Who my sister thought would be a great match since neither of us want commitment. Like you he was damaged in a relationship in his early 20s that bore a beautiful daughter. I was actually somewhat friends with his now deceased (2014) ex. Back in the 90s and they had a very passionate yet tumultuous relationship. That being said, I am drawn to his damaged heart and mystery ...though I know I could NEVER heal his past I feel I could understand him and embrace the broken man he feels he may be. I actually see him as a courageous man who stepped up and raised his daughter and did whatever it took to see that she had all her needs met! He sacrificed alot I am sure! He is beautiful to me because he is real and has a very loving side.I am satisfied with loving him freely....and having no expectation of return favor. I have shared this with him and he hasn't responded about it. But he hasn't stopped all contact,which of course is short and usually sarcastic. I have spent time with him back in December as he was here for holidays one night at my sister's house where we became a little bit intimate but didn't have sex. I am the one who declined as I felt it wasn't the right time. I also have not even been drawn to anyone and have declined several dates from others. I'm just saying that I feel loyal to my feelings for him and don't want a disturbance to my energy. I may be a fool but I am loyal to an aloof and amazing man whom I may never land. But I am satisfied with loving him for who he is...whether I'm sleeping next to him or sleeping a state away.

  19. I would also like to add that in my 20s I was the girl that paid no mind to anyone. Stripper club dancer ...had my choice of many at any time and didn't want to be bothered. You could say I was aloof and snooty. I loved one guy and of course he was an artist ...and when that ended ...I dissolved into the rave and party scene and took advantage of every Tom, Dick and Mary I could. I am quite convinced that I like the feeling of not knowing exactly how he feels. Its like satisfying ...my sister keeps saying good things come to those who wait. I would wait forever....����

  20. Its not that the woman fails, its a matter of recognizing whats going on and moving forward from there. If he is aloof then he is not that into you. This should be a red flag that goes off in your head to leave him be. People make time for what they want to make time for, and if you are important they will make time for you.

    1. Exactly correct. Aloof = not prioritizing you/getting to know you/spending time with you. No need to analyze the core of the issue; just move on and put it behind you. Simple.