Sunday, June 24, 2012

When crossed signals spiral out of control

One thing I hate about human sexuality is the responsibility I feel for women's emotions.  Yeah, I know how that sounds.  But, if more guys were honest about it, you'd hear that one a lot more often.

A little context for my whining . . .

There's a chick at one of the bars I frequent who has gone all-in, completely ga-ga for me.  A couple weeks ago I had  been waiting at the bar to be served.  She was in front of me.  All I was trying to do was ask her if she was in line.  She already had a beer, so it was reasonable to wonder if she had already been served or what.  I tapped her on the shoulder and asked her if she was the back of the line.

She took to be me hitting on her.

While I was standing there still waiting for my drink, she tried several times to restart conversation.  She went for a variant of the classic female pick-up line: "Do I know you? You look like one of my customers over at [another bar]."  I told her no, I've barely ever been there.  She lets it go for a half minute then comes back with "Are you sure?"  Rinse and repeat a few times until I get my beer and sit down.

She spends the rest of that night orbiting around me.  I'm not there long, because I have to go pick someone else up.  But, it was obvious from her activity with her friends what the topic of conversation was.

Now, to be clear, I don't consider her unfuckable.  I just wasn't hitting on her.  And I'm not interested enough to really go with it.  To be blunt, she's past the boundary of the two-point rule at the low end from me.  Plus, I just don't like being muscled into things if they weren't my idea.

The next weekend, she resumes orbiting and eventually works up the nerve to approach me.  She approaches with something to the effect of "We talked last weekend over at the bar, blah-blah-blah."

I confess my response wasn't the nicest thing.  I replied, "If you say so."

She tried a few more reps of the same basic idea.  Blown off repeatedly with "If you say so" she eventually gives up.

Last weekend, she was out again.  I was pretty drunk and dancing with everyone in sight.  She took this opportunity to return the favor and blow me off.

Until . . .

I was hitting on a rather skanky and sluttily dressed chick.  OK, not overly skanky, but she we would have been comfortable as the hot biker momma in a motorcycle gang.  Nearly got into a fight with this one dude over it.  Whatever.

Still rather drunk, I was quizzing a group of people about whether I had been the dick in this exchange.  Without realizing it, the chick from the bar a couple weeks ago was in the group.  I said something to effect of "Hey, you talk to all kinds of people at the bar.  No need to be a dick about it, right?"

She popped in with "Yeah, I talked to you two weeks ago at the bar."  I'll give her that.  She's not shy about dishing out shots when I have them coming.  I tried to apologize.  She didn't say much.  End of night.

So, here's where we get to the part where I feel like a real prick.

This weekend, I go out and she sit down at the table directly in front of me, looking directly at me.  There she is with enough make-up on to shame a prostitute.  Cleavage on full display.  (Have I mentioned before that women don't have a very sane response to me?)

The other three encounters I had with her, she was in the modest to downright boring range.  She looked more like she was going to babysit a 10-month old nephew who likes to throw-up than trying to hook a man.

Not this time, though.

I cannot escape the impression that she was working from the theory of "Fine, if he wants a slut, I'll give him a slut."

I don't have a problem with slutty behavior, if that's your thing.  I'm not a fan of slut shaming.  If a girl wants to play like that, I see it as no more objectionable than a muscled guy going shirtless.  Yeah, there's a bit of an "oh, brother" factor, but whatever.  Humanity's pretty objectionable in general, even without doucheness factored in.

That said, I don't like to think some chick deviated from her normal behavior because she decided that's what I'm after.  That bothers me.  I don't like the idea that anyone would change for me.  It's just creepy.
It's certainly not a response I would have guessed from looking at her.

I feel responsible for her radical change in approach.  I feel like she watched me (drunkenly) hitting on some rather slutty chick and decided, fuck it, let's try that.  It's more aggressive than I would have guessed, but it certainly hues closely with other over-the-top responses I've gotten from women.

Truth be told, I had hoped that having mutual shrugged each other off she would have let it go.  I know better than that from experience.  When women get dialed-in on a guy, they really get dialed-in.  She may not have been amused by my behavior, but that didn't mean she was giving up.

On the bright side, I have a new chick signing up for the job of pining for me for six to twelve months before become resigned to the facts.  That's always fun.  Especially when it's a chick I never had any interesting in sexually signalling.  Those always make me feel particularly bad.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Using game to arm beta male rebellion

I have an old college friend, who we shall call Jimmy, who has spent his entire adult life kissing the asses of women who don't appreciate him.  The guy is great at getting a girlfriend.  Terrible at keeping them.

He is the classic beta male.  His typical relationship goes about two to four months.  And it ends with the chick cutting it off.  And it ends with him exasperated because he has tried so hard to tell her how much he loves her.  Yeah, that kind of beta.  The kind of beta that women find reprehensible, but society won't allow them to just admit it.

His second most recent ex stayed in contact.  Worse, she has recently tried to rekindle things.

Now, to be clear, Jimmy does not want her back.  But, Jimmy and I talked a lot about it, and I couldn't resist encouraging him to use her as a testbed for a variety of game principles.  What the hell?  Why not?  What better scenario than gaming a girl you hate is there?!

This chick was terrible to him.  I can remember going out with the two of them about a year ago.  She said unthinkably awful shit.  She was constantly threatening to move.  She told him what to do with his hair (and he did it).  She told him how to dress.  She talked about guys she wanted to fuck, right in front of him. 

She insisted on regular dates but barely ever fucked him.  And he was overboard.  Even during a bad stretch of unemplyoment, he made sure they went out every weekend.  Awful.

In other words, this was a full on alpha female against beta male conflict.  This is the kind of shit game was invented to stop.

The first thing I told him is to start using their conversations to push her around (emotionally, don't worry, he's not the physical type -- and couldn't be if wanted).  I told him to stop taking shit from her.  Never agree to anything she wants.  Insist upon everything he wants.  Ignore her whenever he feels like it.  Invent derogatory nicknames for her.  All-in, more alpha male than is necessary to bed a girl.

The result just about made me shit myself!

Before we could even fully deploy the new alphafied Jimmy, she texted him asking him if she could come over.  She was disappointed with her current boyfriend and she wanted Jimmy to fuck her brains out!!!!!
With minimal revisions, he had her in full "fuck me" mode.

The best part?  Jimmy is still stringing her out and laughing his ass off at her every time!!!

Understand, Jimmy is true believer.  A good man of faith who wants to one day fall in love and have a family and a nice house and all that shit. 

Needless to say, this was beautiful.  I've known Jimmy a long time and I have hated every one of his girlfriends.  Few things in this world have ever made me as happy as watching Jimmy turn a certified alpha female into a begging lapdog.  (FTR, of all Jimmy's GFs, this one is the one I hate the most.  By far.)

Even better, I've been encouraging Jimmy to use a lighter, sexier version of this approach on an old high school acquaintance he stays in touch with but has never asked out. 

The results?  She started sending him photos of her in her bikinis.

True joy.

I'm not the most hardcore social-sexual guy out there.  I'm not big on pushing the idea that my friends have to be out there gaming their butts off.  But, Jimmy needed this.  Game was medicine for this poor man's soul.

While I don't advocate full-on misogyny very often, it makes my day to see a certified bitch get her comeuppance.  And if a nice guy can go through the world a little more confident to boot, so much the better.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Have some Twitter, dammit

Wisdom in contracted form.!/TheAloofGuy

Easy answers to easy questions

OK, another post triggered by reading the traffic stats for the blog.  This gem:

"How to make an aloof guy ask you out"

Answer: stop playing and just ask him.  I know women have an almost cat-like form of foolish pride.  I know that women almost demand that a guy ask them out, even if it means making increasingly embarrassing voertures to induce him into it. 

But, come on. 

If you really like a guy so much you're willing to try to game him, just cut the shit and ask.  Or at the bare minimum, if your feminine dignity will not suffer asking a man out directly, just sit on his lap and tell him he looks like a movie star.

Women overplay this shit.  If you want to play the coquette, go for it, ladies.  But don't complain when you and your dildo are spending another night together thinking about that fabulous, distant boy you desperately want to fuck.

Don't let nature get in the way of your happiness.  Cut the bullshit and take what you want.  The worst that will happen is you will fail.