Monday, February 2, 2015

What I know at this stage in my life

These are in no particular order. This is rather stream of conscience.

1. The amount of information I know is huge. The amount of actionable information I know is small.

At my old age (soon to be 37), I've realized just how much information there is in this world and how very little of it ever helps you make a real decision.

2. I'm going to die childless and alone.

The math simply supports it. If I were inclined to show a shred of humility in how I respond to women by now, it would have popped up in my behavior enough to make a difference.

3. If you really want to control a woman, forget violence of any kind.

I never was one to be physical toward women, but as I've dealt with more and more of them over the years, the utter lack of utility of being physical toward a woman has become even clearer.

Go start a Fetlife profile and see how many women right now are trolling the internet hoping for just one brutal guy to be emotionally invested enough in her that he wants to beat the fuck out of her and put her in her place. For far more woman than will ever admit it, a good beating is practically a fuckin Christmas present. Rihanna's made the last half of her recording career into nothing but an ode to domestic violence and the desire to fuck brutal men.

But, as a guy, you can't win playing that game. If you want a woman to really be under your thumb, you have to just let her go entirely off your radar. It's like dealing with a child who constantly threatens to run away -- the only solution is to completely ignore the threats and special pleadings and just get on with your day.

4. If a woman wants your attention, there's no limit to what she will try.

5. Failing to pay attention to a woman rarely dissuades her.

Women, unless they've been treated as reprehensible for clearly obvious reasons (extreme obesity, serious signs of genetic defects, extreme small chestedness -- pretty much only really extreme failings), don't register the concept of a soft rejection.

It's one of the things that bothers me most about women. On balance, I prefer to be nicer about rejections where possible. It sucks to be rejected, and I try to soften the blow as much as possible.

6. Softening the emotional blow is pointless.

There's no version of a soft, safe, controlled landing with women in any sort of emotional business. The best you can ever manage is to just thoroughly discourage a woman to the point that her attention-seeking ego can't take it anymore and she eventually gives up. But as long as you remain softly engaged, she'll be willing to keep hoping and hoping and hoping.

When it comes to getting women to go away, "cut deep and cut once" is the preferred approach. If that fails, cut deep and cut a second time. And keep cutting until she gets the goddamned point or she's emptied her entire soul out on the floor in front of you.

7. Women are, on balance, good decision makers. Until they want a particular man.

In most day-to-day decisions, I recommend discussing them with a woman. I don't always advocate following a woman's advice, but you should definitely hear at least one woman's perspective regarding almost ever serious decision you ever make.

The absolute exception to this is is anything romantic. Never, ever listen to a woman when it comes to matters of the heart.

A woman's view of love is as sensible as a dog's view of eating roadkill: they'll swallow the most poisonous shit on the planet just to feel a little fuller.

Beyond that, be aware that the allure of "the right man" makes every woman you meet dangerous. For the right man, a woman will kill her own kids. For the right man, a woman will abandon here entire family. For the right man, all fucking bets are off.

Women think it's hilarious that men can be honeypotted, but the truth is men get over it and often correct their mistakes moving forward. Women will do the same dumb, dangerous shit over and over and over again hoping that the next guy who's "right man" material will somehow see her virtues.

8. Don't be too invested in attracting women.

I think it's a huge mistake to start fashioning yourself into what women like. Lots of guys on the internet right now are discussing what a great idea it is to be fit, successful and dominant in order to attract women. I deeply disagree with this point.

Be fit. It's a good choice. Don't sweat any more success than you really need to do your thing the right way every time. Fuck dominance. Just be as commanding as you need to be to negotiate life's turns, and beyond that let the rest of the world burn.

Being the image of perfection and desperately wanting it is lame and contrary to what it means to be a man. Own your shit, but be aware that there of lots of assholes trying to convince you there's other shit you should own that doesn't matter. Big, studly PUA moves are shit that you don't need to own. They're not your shit. They're someone else's crazy, and you should keep other people's crazy out of your life whenever possible.

9. Women flock to the idea of a particular man.

I can remember a couple years ago reading a few pages on the web of women talking about Viggo Mortensen. The prevailing view was nearly universal: he's ugly as sin, but women want to fuck him hard.

The idea of who you are as a man means waaaaaaay more than anything else with women. The simple way you go about your business is what will get you laid.

The gut-level feeling that a guy is simply "right" in some way is what gets women going. And nothing makes you feel more right to a woman than simply being present in the world without letting it all get to you. Be in command of your existence, and waste little time expecting to command the world around you. Women eat that shit up.

Women know that hard ass boss men are always the fuckers trolling Fetlife looking for a domme to shove a dildo in their asses and then pull it out and make them clean it off with their mouths. Don't be the hard ass boss. Women frown on that. Be the guy who just is present and capable without being a mouthy and in-charge fuck.

10. Lots of women are doing it wrong. Who cares?

There are lots of women who get their social signals mixed up and pick the wrong guy. There are lots of women who overemphasize the most wrong and brutal sexual signals too. There are lots of women who get wet for hot cars and nice suits.

Those things are their problems, not yours.

The fact that a certain class of woman might have ignored you or misjudge you means nothing. They're working through their own crazy shit just as much as you're trying to work through your own crazy shit. The fact that their crazy might not fit together like Lego blocks with your crazy doesn't mean much. Stop letting it bother you.

11. Stop relaxing and instead just focus on your own ideas.

To really be a man, you need to define your own world and your own sphere of influence. That means cutting the bullshit and building your own fully formed ideas about the world. It means exploring your interests without any regard to what the human race things of them.

12. Embrace the hopelessness of all existence.

Life is meaningless. There is no God and there is no salvation. You will die and be forgotten. Within a few million years at the very, very most, the universe will show no evidence that humanity was ever here. Forget trying to be meaningful or successful in the big and broad sense. Focus on your existence and abandon any delusions of grandeur. It's pointless.

You're not even the tiniest speck on the surface of the tiniest speck. And that's OK.

Someday, this bubble in space-time that we think of us the big and important and totally awesome and relevant universe will collapse. There will be no evidence that any of this horseshit ever happened. So none of it matters.

If you always wanted to know what human flesh tasted like, there's no compelling reason not to give it a try. If you always wondered what it would feel like to jump to your death, have at.  Always wanted to be the pivot man in an MMF threeesome? Go for it. Wondering whether a diet of nothing but ketchup is the big breakthrough you need for improved fitness? Bottoms up. Wanna speed? Do it. Think unprotected sex sounds like a swell idea? Do it. Just wanna play video games and eat Doritos until your heart prematurely resigns from play? Enjoy.

That's all a list of shit I don't care to do, but it is all irrelevant and will soon be gone. Don't sweat any of it.

13. I don't particularly want to change.

At my old age, I've realized that however much change I might have in me has already been spent. I don't have it in me to become anything else at this stage in my life. There's not much use in feeling bad about that fact.

One of the biggest realizations of my life was coming to the conclusion that I've managed to completely blow off at least three perfectly marriageable women in my time. Bigger realization: I don't even care.

Does it hurt a bit to think about it? Yeah.

Would I do anything differently if presented a new chance? Nope.

On some level, I simply prefer to be me, even if it means dying alone and childless. It's not some noble battle, either. It's just me being me.

14. No matter how hard you try, you won't achieve all of your goals.

And that's not a bad thing.

If I had the resources to do everything that I wanted and I started going through the list in the most efficient manner possible, I couldn't possibly do it all before I died. There's no reason to feel bad about that fact.

If you leave behind a couple stories for other people to tell about your exploits, then you did well.


  1. AG, the more I read of your blog and it's posts, the uncanny similarities to myself that I see in your opinions and actions make me think "Fuck me. I'm like that / done that / said that / think that"

    And I'm 48.

    You're pretty crack-on with a lot of what you say/do.


  2. Another Q for you - would you say you practise Stoicism?

  3. Even though your posts scream of that of a stoic: resignation, lack of protest / complaint, acceptance of inevitability, fatalism, philosophicalness, impassivity, dispassion, calmness... ;-)

    1. I wouldn't consider any of it part of a concerted effort to live by a particular philosophy.

  4. I like your blog. Very insightful. You have a good grasp of vocabulary.

    Things I wonder: What you do for a living? Stockbroker maybe.

    Why, if you actually start to like a girl, does she get sidelined into emotional only track? HOW can you NOT want to FUCK a girl that you LIKE. Do you make up things about her that may be horrible so that you won't like her?

    I get it it's scary to like someone. I have been the person to keep the people I like the most at the furthest distance because they could indeed WRECK me. But, as evolution goes, I can't stop myself from wanting them.

    The time I usually stop wanting someone like you is after: the second or third time they have stood me up, the first or second time they stop acting like they know me. It's takes approximately one to three months for a guy like yourself to realize that I will A:) Never even LOOK him in the eyes again let alone recognize him as someone I know ever again. YES it may be a game but I'm just as good at playing it. It takes around 6mo-a year for them to develop severe sadness in the fact I don't pep up when they come around and it's usually about at that year point that I get some form of communication expressing how we really were perfect for each other and how he was being an ass and would I just... for old time's sake. The answer is always, no.

    So while I do like my aloof male who plays games it is indeed only because I live and love with such depth that it DOES hurt me to FALL in love with someone, who inevitably will be crazy and not provide me EVERYTHING I could need in a mate. But when I go out on a limb and try and actually get to know aloof male and he starts throwing tnt out the window of his car when he explicitly told me to follow him to his house, because he's actually freaking out about what would happen if he really did start to fall for me. So I drive away from the bombs and swear to never, ever let them get that close to me again.

    There are a few whom I HAVE to still talk to because I work in a club and get to see most everything every guy's stupid tactic that they play on the girls, one of the guys I work with was working me out for over a year when I found out he was also working over a fellow girlfriend of mine who DID actually follow through with his retarded request and is STILL infatuated with him while I on the other hand stopped trying after he stood me up the second time. In fact I said to him in point; It's all good dude, you just totally fucked up but its ok because I will never let you know and I will never treat you like anything has changed so you will never know the difference!

    I also think you may have an STD which is why you only fuck random girls and not girls you like. But I can understand you not wanting to express this here. You also seem despite your aloof/autistic nature are still a broot of a beast and I could see you completely going off on me about this to the point of even deleting this post. All I am asking is why don't you fuck the girls you like? I mean, the girl at the bar, the 20 year old did you ever fuck her or did you just emotionally fuck her? Have you actually FUCKED any of the girls you talk about actually liking? I mean besides the ones out of the country who will only find out in due time you gave them some sort of disease? I'm really not trying to throw shade just interested in why everything compartmentalizes down into those three categories of weirdo i wont talk to/ emotional girlfriend/fuck toy of the week

    Obv. nobody wants to talk to the weirdo I'm just wondering if you know off the bat who you are sleeping with vs who you are keeping on the side for a fun fuck and how do the two not cross?


    1. Lot to work with there . . . I'll try to parse it . . .

      "What you do for a living?"

      If you're good at math, you don't ever need to do much to get by in this world. If you're good at math and a competent communicator, you pretty much never need to do anything; the world will mostly be an annoying sound banging at your door (actually, your email inbox and personal Twitter account).

      "if you actually start to like a girl, does she get sidelined into emotional only track? HOW can you NOT want to FUCK a girl that you LIKE."

      One thing that's worth mentioning here is that I don't feel that deep, overwhelming, painful hunger that other people describe when it comes to liking someone. I have no clue what people are talking about when they describe this sort of thing.

      I've said before that for me, having sex is like taking a dump. I've taken some enjoyable dumps in my time, but I don't sit around all day just hoping for another bowel movement because it's just so damned awesome to take a dump. (This might be a guy thing, as I've had a few women look at me like I'm on crack when I've mentioned this, while pretty much every guy on earth understands it right away.)

    2. "Do you make up things about her that may be horrible so that you won't like her?"

      Nope. In fact, I can't think of too many women who've ever come into my orbit who weren't downright awesome human beings. In truth, I'm almost pathological in my need to reel in really great girls.

    3. "I can't stop myself from wanting them"

      I don't have that feature. I can easily put anything aside. If I feel like I need to lose weight, I can easily just starve myself for a month. I can drink two bottles of hard liquor for several weekends straight and then not have anything to drink for months. I remember my doctor telling me that I'm the person he's ever worried the least about in terms of prescribing painkillers because I'm just not the type.

      Nothing sticks with me. Nothing is addictive. I have an astonishingly high threshold for excitement (example: reckless, high-speed driving doesn't even register with me as fun unless it's in really bad weather).

      "The time I usually stop wanting someone like you is after: the second or third time they have stood me up, the first or second time they stop acting like they know me."

      I've never stood a woman up in my life.

      "I also think you may have an STD which is why you only fuck random girls and not girls you like"

      My understanding based on female friends' complaints about other guys is that men who have STDs don't spend too much time caring who they give STDs to. Now you're just trying to be intentionally provocative. It's a tad lazy.

      I've never known a disease-carrying pervert to stop and say, "Yeah . . . but she's a nice girl and I don't wanna hurt her."

      Are you sure you've lived in the actual world? This attitude puts you damned near in ingenue territory.


    4. "All I am asking is why don't you fuck the girls you like? I mean, the girl at the bar, the 20 year old did you ever fuck her or did you just emotionally fuck her?"

      Did not fuck her.


    5. "if you know off the bat who you are sleeping with vs who you are keeping on the side for a fun fuck and how do the two not cross?"

      I know it instantly. I've gotten very good at classifying women the instant that I meet them.

      "Weirdos" I'm actually nice to them. Probably a little too nice, if anything. I don't go out of my way to be hurtful to the weirdos unless they just flat out insist on pushing the issue.

      "Don't talk to" girls are the entitled and eager ones. You can see it on those bitches in a heartbeat. The chick who absolutely thinks every guy wants her gash, and no man has ever said no to her. Those ones I pretty much go fishing for every weekend, and it is fucking hilarious to watch them go full retard, just mashing the sexy button over and over again. It's like watching a mouse in a stimulation experiment just fuckin starve and electrocute itself hitting the button over and over.

      "emotional girlfriend" is overstating the case in most instances. I'd never let a chick get to the point where she thought she might be a girlfriend of any kind.

      You gotta keep those chicks teetering. Just enough attention that they absolutely know deep down that there's something, but not so much that they start thinking they're in a good position.

      They're easy to spot because they're not entitled. They're always slightly insecure, but easily attractive enough that they know guys like them.

      You get the right one dialed in to the right level, and she'll just swim that mixture of self-loathing and hope for years on end.

      "fuck toy of the week" More like fuck toy of the next two to six hours. I rarely stick around long in those situations.

      The fucks are pulled out of the entitled bitches pile. It's just easier to let one of them win every now and then. The few times I ever really am just so horny that I need a piece of ass right now, I just let the next entitled chick have a win instead of destroying her.

      Almost all highly pathological people are good at filtering the people around them to achieve their goals and perpetuate their own problems. I enjoy harming women emotionally, and I filter every woman I meet in order to see who will offer me the maximum enjoyment from harming them.


    6. Weirdos get a pass because they deflate too easily. No fun in picking on a girl who's going to instantly remember that's she's a space alien that no one can stand to be around.

      Entitled bitches move to the front of the line because they are such easy prey. The downside is that you have to fuck with them fast and hard, because they're typically going to move on quickly once they figure out that they're playing a losing game. That usually means ignore, open up a little to let them think they have a lane of attack and then just destroy them as they make their move.

      Every now and then an entitled bitch does show some stick-to-it, but you can't count on it. Most of them attack hard anyhow, because they're entire sales pitch is "I'm sooooo fuckin hawt and men can't resist me," so even if I didn't move things along quickly, they would. (You haven't really lived until you've seen a hot chick go into full seizure mode trying to get a guy to pay attention to her.)

      As for the ones who reside in the sweet spot . . . you can pick it up pretty fast when they make their first half-hearted move. They attack half-heartedly, they linger longer than a hot chick and then they back off and hang back with that dumb look of "yeah, I'm not worth it" in their eyes. Then all you have to do is be just nice enough to them from that point forward that they hang in there, wondering if it's friendship, just you being nice to an acquaintance, something more.

      It's easy to tell, because the right girl won't push too hard right away. Weirdos push hard because they have no other option -- also, many of them are wackos. Entitled bitches push too hard because they're entitled, and they get pissed quickly when a guy doesn't respond to them. All that leaves are the girls who can easily be emotionally abused for lengthy periods of time so long as you provide extremely minimal upkeep.

      It's the relationship equivalent of being a slum lord who does just enough to keep your place from caving in on you.

    7. Bear in mind, you can collect a lot of useful information about any woman by just ignoring her the first time she moves toward you.

      To start with, few women actually open a guy verbally on the first pass. Or if they do, they do it so half-assed that you're lack of engagement can easily just be seen as her shooting too softly and not getting the ball to the rim.

      How she responds to being ignored is always the tell.

      Entitled bitches escalate aggressively. The initial orbit quickly turns into a brush pass. Ignore her again, and soon she's staring right at you trying to burn a hole in you. After that, she's going to be as overtly sexual as the circumstances allow. In a club, she'll dance in front of you. If your with common friends, she will chat you up in terms that only a downright moron wouldn't think were sexual.

      The nice girls, they often drift away and come back. Then they try to move things along politely. And they always play back. The signals are never overtly sexual, and the conversation can easily be misconstrued as friendly. They escalate within their parameters, but their parameters prevent them from being slutty.

      The lack of sluttiness easily allows you to slide them into a friendly frame where you can just string them out forever.

      Some will get frustrated over time and escalate more, but they always state within a certain set of parameters. That holding back is the real payoff. I've seen girls slightly trembling because they want to move things along, but they can't bring themselves to be overtly sexual.

      What's worse is that every woman has a clock that starts running the minute she decides she likes you. She expects certain things to happen within certain timeframes. Hellos become chats. Chats become friendships. The friendship just somehow magically becomes something -- possibly, could it be! -- more. Possibly more becomes, "hey what is this?" Hey what is this becomes dating. Dating becomes a relationship, and a relationship becomes a commitment.

      The thing is, if you as a guy just don't follow along, her feelings keep going upward anyhow. Women aren't wired for a world where guys don't play along.

  5. this is a fuckin' gold mine. glad I asked gonna take a while to process all and I WILL GET BACK TO YOU. Jesus.

  6. I don't buy how an aspie has never stood a girl up. That's just un-logical for anyone. (I'm trying to put you in a box because you are all over the place and this is my thought process) People do, stand people up. Now, some of the guys who have stood me up in their minds and in fact out of their mouths have said, they never stood me up but I have been in my car and next stop your house more than once when the phone goes blank or there's talk of meeting up somewhere and because you didn't show up it suddenly wasn't really really a plan. Maybe you're different, maybe you're lying.

    Also, I didn't say you didn't fuck girls because you had an std more like you didn't fuck girls you saw on a regular basis because of the fact that they would eventually find out and flame your circle or places or crowds. The fact that you sleep with random girls in the back of cars gets you a free pass on being the one who gave her herpes because hell if she's that kind of girl she's done this before and it could have been AAAAnnnnnyyyyyoooonee.. . Ok so maybe that isn't you either.

    But the fact that an alpha male does not enjoy sex is astounding to me and makes me think you really need to experience some grade a sex and it's not the type you can always get in a car not saying you haven't gotten that but I can say that some of my worst emotional partners were also my worst sexual and I see correlation between the not giving a fuck and not fucking well. Not saying you don't fuck well but do you ever fuck a girl more than once? Let alone on more than one occasion? I'm lost. Are you hung? Is that the problem? It's sad to see an alpha like you plainly admit to not enjoying sex. Shame.

  7. And I can't quite grasp how someone good at math can have an active email and twitter unless you are some rocket scientist... And where can I find a picture as proof that you are indeed handsome!?!?

    1. "where can I find a picture"

      Right on that. SMFH. Not gonna happen. Anonymous and all.

      "do you ever fuck a girl more than once"

      It's been a long time. The older I get, the less I care to try. Things get weird fast anyhow, because women are obnoxious in seeking attention from a guy. If you're not pushing hard, they get freaked out fast.

      "need to experience some grade a sex"

      Every woman thinks she's a sex queen. Every woman is wrong.

      "People do, stand people up."

      Hooray for people. Has no bearing on me.

      "how someone good at math can have an active email and twitter unless you are some rocket scientist"

      You have no clue how important math has become in the last five years. Analysis is everything nowadays.

      " an alpha "

      I don't think of myself as an alpha male. Alpha males want certain things in terms of being respected and being in charge. I just want the world to get the fuck out of my way. That's a bigger difference than women tend to realize, because the alpha males of the herd tend to want to get in the world's way, while guys like me would eradicate the human race if we had the resources needed to ensure that the job was done properly.

  8. #confessionsofanihilst ;) thanks again.

  9. ps this this should be editable... i can't edit my comments. spelled wrong on the internet for ever. anonymous is boring. bukowski made a living putting women down.

  10. "where can I find a picture as proof that you are indeed handsome!?!?"

    Points for subtlety.

    "Every woman thinks she's a sex queen. Every woman is wrong."


    "anonymous is boring."

    Try "anonymous is gay". You just might get more of a reaction.

  11. "i can't edit my comments"

    Blame Google for Blogger's interface issues.

    "anonymous is boring"

    The female perspective about men being here to entertain them is now on parade!

    "bukowski made a living putting women down"

    Not exactly a role model for anyone to follow.

    On balance, I don't want to make a living from this sort of writing. It's more therapy to write this. I did a post a while back swearing off all attempts to monetize this blog because I feel there's something dishonest in the relationship between male-centric blogs (PUA, MRA, etc stuff) and their monetary and political motives.

    "Try "anonymous is gay". You just might get more of a reaction."

    Someone's been reading with an eye for detail. Thumbs up for that comment.

  12. Quote HEROINe "But the fact that an alpha male does not enjoy sex is astounding to me and makes me think you really need to experience some grade a sex and it's not the type you can always get in a car not saying you haven't gotten that but I can say that some of my worst emotional partners were also my worst sexual and I see correlation between the not giving a fuck and not fucking well. Not saying you don't fuck well but do you ever fuck a girl more than once? Let alone on more than one occasion? I'm lost. Are you hung? Is that the problem? It's sad to see an alpha like you plainly admit to not enjoying sex. Shame."

    Same here. I find sex massively overrated. Almost like a competition. I don't get that much enjoyment out of it cos I'm emotionally shut-down, core-wise with a large % of stoicism.
    (either that or I'm a lazy Asexual)

    But yeah, "are you hung" is another one of those games that women like to indulge in the same as "are you gay"?
    I've been asked women....and the answer is usually "No I'm not and No I'm not"

    For me, it’s all about playing and winning games.
    And all the women I know / meet – play games.
    Unfortunately, the misogynistic streak within me just can’t help myself.
    It’s probably a control / ego thing

  13. "Are you gay?" isn't a game tactic. That's women coming back at you hard in order to protect their egos.

    Nothing fucks with a woman like not giving her the attention that she feels entitled to. Lack of appropriate attention sets off a chain reaction in a woman.

    The process just rolls and rolls in a woman's head. It goes like so . . .

    1. This guy's just missing a signal or distracted . Mash the button again.

    2. This guy's fakin being the real deal alpha ignoring a chick. Better punk his ass.

    3. Oh shit . . . he's for real and he's ignoring. Better get his attention. Mast the button again.

    4. He's still ignoring me. This offense will not stand!!!

    At that point, the chick is completely off script. She's just throwing random shit at you to see whether she can throw you off your game.

    5. Time to save my ego and insult him too . . . drop "Are you gay?"

    It saves her ego, and it insults him. Except it doesn't work that way for her on the inside. At that point, she feels like a pointless and asexual non-entity. She knows what every ugly and fat girl who ever lived feels like on a daily basis, and it fucks with her.

    Hell, that's why I do it. It's the only effective way to hurt a woman.

  14. I never brought up gay. I said, boring.

    And I ask about you being hung because I wanted to know if that's why sex was only so-so for you.

    I have lost interest.


    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    2. I was addressing Seraph. SMFH. This is why there are a million PUA blogs that complain about how self-centered women are.

  15. But why would NOT being hung, make sex just 'so-so' for a guy though? (maybe it would for a woman, but not a man, lol)
    HEROIne - made some good, valid points....but she fizzled out?
    Come back, H...don't throw in the towel - this is a fascinating blog which opens up some good discussions...
    I understand clearly what AG implies about 'entitled' women: I've experienced it twice in the last 18 months - especially one, a 40-yr old Mom who had affaired-then-separated from her husband for another guy who pursued her, and when she got bored of him after 8 months (and, HEROine, he was hung like a porn-star by all accounts), she turned her attention to me when I made 'moves' on her.
    And sure enough, as AG has pointed out, she followed the step-by-step to a 'T': Hello > Text > Chat > Friends....and then, when I wasn't making the moves SHE expected me to make, she did the sexy-mashing thing.
    At this point, I was just into Game-Playing Mode only far mor than she expected...I just wanted to hold the mirror up in front of her and make her see what she was.
    But that's just me and my ego - I wanted to see if I could take her off the man who took her off her husband.
    To say she went into psycho-freefall is a massive understatement.

    Hugely funny.

    1. Don't sweat the "hung" thing with this chick H. It's the usual obnoxious incitement simply for the sake of incitement thing that women love to pull.

    2. I feel where you're coming from but I don't think there's anything wrong with the choices you've made or your lifestyle in general. Also I don't think your past necessarily predicts how your future will unfold. What's wrong with being single? Who says it's better to be in a relationship? I'm a female but my situation is very similar to yours. People ask me all the time why I'm single. OK, what everybody else is doing and saying can cause a lot of pressure, I get it. But maybe if people stopped listening to society's brainwash and the anxiety that comes from it and, I don't know, thought for themselves, a lot of our erratic behavior would chill out. If only people could get to know each other without letting all the selfish emotions and hang ups dictate their behavior, and instead try to focus on building a connection and figuring out if it's a good match, they'd have more patience and end up in much better relationships, if that's the path they choose to take.