Sammie (as always names changed, innocent, etc) did the books at one of my jobs while I was in college. I provided tech support for a sales system at an ag sales business. It was decent part-time job that paid well and where they had tried desperately to find someone who could handle it. In other words, Sammie is yet another example of a woman who I had game with because I was able to help.
Here's the thing. Sammie was twice my age. A little matronly, but actually kinda cute.
It was not unusual for Sammie and I to spend an entire shift, sometimes well over ten hours, together in the office. And we were very good friends. To be honest, there was some sexual chemistry there.
But, the thing with Sammie is that she was very prone to really over-the-top attempts at hitting on me. And I don't just mean demonstrative. I mean, she did shit you have only heard about in movies.
An example: Sammie called me over to fix her computer at her house. The computer was in her bedroom. She lived by herself and her only kid, a daughter who I kinda dug, was long gone. As I'm working she sits down next to me, legs rubbing against mine, and sets up two drink glasses. She says, "Bourbon's your drink, right?" And she pours us both a drink.
Seriously? She had pulled a naughty pool boy on me, right?!
Then there was the time she told me I looked like a famous male model (I don't) while leaning on a counter at work, cleavage out and swooning. There were a lot of interactions with Sammie that tested my capacity to not burst out laughter at the absurdity of her advances.
Just to be clear, there would be a lot of scenarios where I could have slept with Sammie. She was available and cute and had expressed an openness to a no-string strings relationship and frankly under the right conditions I'll fuck pretty much anything.
But, the thing with Sammie is she was not peculiarly bright. Nice girl, don't get me wrong. She had a very naive streak about her, even in her fifties.
One thing I've learned about women in my time is this: there is no such thing as casual sex. In fact, Sammie was the first woman I overtly rejected for this exact reason.
Women believe that if they can settle in with a guy that some combination of sex and chemistry and fate and true love will take over and make things work. In fact, it's fair bet that at least fifty percent of women who agree to casual sex are openly hoping for this scenario to play out. And I guarantee you, for all the obvious truth of the age difference, Sammie was one of these women. From our conversations, I knew she had a very traditional notion of male-female relationships and that she wanted that old school male protector sort of mate. Her husband, the father of her only child, was a drunk and a bit of a let down that she had gladly divorced.
Plus, Sammie orbited unobtainable guys. She had, when I arrived at this job, been orbiting the owner of the business. Now, me and The Boss became friends and have remained friends to this day. And let me tell you something about The Boss: he was the guy every woman tries her damnedest to not fall for.
The Boss, needless to say, had money. He had never been married. Never had kids. And he had never met a grown woman he didn't wasn't willing to lie to if it meant she'd fuck him.
I can remember years later an incident where two of his ladies he had been fooling around with found out about each other. Because one had come in on him having dinner with me and the other lady. And, in another event that you think can only occur in movies, she grabbed his drink and tossed it on him.
It was always like that with The Boss. The funny thing is, he never took a run at Sammie. But, my gawd if she didn't seem to spend forever pining for him. Even as she watched him do his thing and embarrass himself (he was not shy about his behavior, to say the least).
Sammie was like that. She had a thing for any man she couldn't have. She had a thing for complete jerks, too. She crushed hard on guys and then sat there basically boohooing that it must be because her looks were fading (which is a whole other can of worms).
I liked Sammie, actually. Truth be told, there's something very sexy about naive women. There's a rawness to how they fall in love that just makes me stop and want them more than other women. It's a fucked up type of sincerity that only a handful of women ever display. It's tragic and sick in a lot of ways, but it is nice to have such a sincere person swoon over you.
But, I also knew from the start I could never make a move on Sammie. That sincerity that made her attention such a turn-on was also her undoing. Behaviors that could otherwise have seemed bold or even playful had a tendency to seem pathetic with Sammie. When I think about Sammie, it's the rare case where I understand what women mean about eager guys coming off as losers.
There was simply no way to engage Sammie without her going overboard and making too much of it. It wasn't a safe relationship because she was willfully self-destructive in pursuing men who could not work out and provide her the love she needed. It's funny, too, because Sammie is one of the women I've known who I most hope has found some happiness. The last I heard she had settle down with a guy her own age. The Boss told me this. The only thing positive The Boss could say was the guy had money.