Something I realized about myself a few weeks ago is that I have zero impulse to steal another person's happiness. I was out drinking and I was hitting on this girl and eventually realized she had a boyfriend. I told her to invite him to join us and she did. She, he and I were getting along great and I actually think their relationship was open enough I could have made that move on her.
What was great about them is they were a little punk couple in their early 20s struggling to get by. We spent the whole night talking about that awesome out-there shit that only young people talk about. Ron Paul, government, best drugs, travel, etc.
The thing is, seeing them together, I just loved them as a couple. They were young and cool and getting by on that thin margin that you have to tread to be that age and have anything resembling a life.
Push comes to shove, I could have blasted this kid out and taken his girl.
But, I love them as a couple.
Is that weird? I mean, I know it's not stereotypically heteronormative male behavior. But, is it weird?
I love to see other people be happy. When a woman is finally, fully out of my life, one of the first things I start worrying about is her future happiness. I'm happy when I find ex-girlfriends on Facebook and see that they're married and have kids and are posting lovely vacation photos with the man and the woman cuddling and shading the little critter they made while they're all on the beach.
One of the hardest things for me is when I know I'm not going to make a move on a girl who likes me. I currently know a girl -- not know-know, but just someone I'm acquainted with from encounters are area bars -- who is in the throes of a long dry spell and is bouncing off the walls crazy just wanting to get laid while also screaming for that perfect romance and undying love relationship. I get the impression that some of her dry spell actually traces to waiting and hoping for me to ask her out.
Stuff like that kills me.
I know I'm not going to date her. She's too young for me, 21, and even for a 21-year old she's very immature. There's vast differences between us, and frankly, she doesn't impress me as a human being. I mean, if we were talking just the physical part, I'd screw her brains out in a heartbeat. But, in my experience, you don't make that a pitch -- EVER! -- to a chick who is bouncing off the walls, especially if she is immature and doesn't have any of her shit together.
And that really makes me feel like a terrible person. I know I could make her life better in no time flat. But, I couldn't see her making my life better in a hundred years. And I hate how it makes me feel.