This is just a bit of field reporting from last night, but . . .
Last night I was out at a bar I really hate. There's a chick there that bartends who is 100% my type -- big ass, dark hair, sassy mouth. The thing is, I don't do much to play at bartenders, waitresses, shotgirls, etc. I've always considered it unfair to game them, since being friendly is a key component of their employment.
In the past, I haven't sensed any play with this bartender anyhow.
Last night she was a rough night dealing with the drunks. At one point she cut a guy off completely. He gave her hell. So, she poured him a shot and then knocked it back right in front of him and yelled, "There's yer fucking shot right there!"
I smiled. I thought that was funny as shit. Thing is, that was when she broke through and started talking to me. She was having a rough night and clearly needed a friend.
We were talking outside the bar after hours while the drunks were still around. She got pissed at a few of them and pointed at me and told them this is how you behave. Then she took my hand. She said I was quiet and not looking to prove anything to anyone. Lesson being? This is how you be a man.
The thing is, women like aloof guys for that reason right there. And gawd knows she was probably digging me way before this. But, all that sexy aloofness creates a barrier for women.
That first smile -- right when she needed a smile -- was the breakthrough.
Aloof can be good. But, at some point the girl's gotta see ya smile. Women like the tough, aloof, distant guy. But women need that positive feedback. Maybe even more when it's with an aloof guy, because that aloofness can shut a girl right down.
So, aloog guys? Smile a bit more. Don't worry. You're not going to overdo it. It's just not in our nature.