Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Pretty much how I feel about men's rights stuff on the web

The linkiedink, first . . . http://matingmarket.wordpress.com/2012/08/16/why-has-the-seduction-community-been-overrun-by-the-mens-rights-movement/

And now the quote . . .

Fascism has co-opted seduction!  There’s no other term for it.  Gender fascism.
Basically fascism goes like this: “There is a problem with this world, and it’s caused by _________________.”
Fill in the blank with your “ism” of choice.  Feminism, communism, judaism, multiculturalism … whatever.  The first thing you need to do is convince people there’s a problem.  Then you lay the blame.
I clipped that one sentence short because the last potshot is a tad histrionic for my tastes.

In general, I like reading on the subjects of mating, seduction, feminism, sex, sexual politics, PUA, bondage and on and on.  In truth, I'm a pretty voracious reader.  I read a lot of shit I don't even care about. Some of my favorite stuff to read is things outside my wheelhouse and my worldview.  I find people I don't know or don't understand to be fascinating.

But, the manosphere, so-called, has become dulled down to the point of uselessness in large part because it went mental right around the time Obama was elected president.  In truth, I don't see this as an accident.  I have no proof to back this up, but my gut feeling is that there is an effort afoot to co-opt the "seduction community" into being the next generation of angry conservative white assholes.

To be clear, I'm not uncomfortable with the basic anti-feminist critique of the men's rights movement.  Simply put, I do think that western civilization went too far in tipping the scales, particularly in the courts, toward women.  Divorce is a shit deal for men and by default it makes marriage a shit deal, too.  This shit deal has made it vastly harder for people to enter into long-term, loving relationships.

But, behind all that rightness is also an agenda intent on completely reversing the tide.  There's a group of men in the whole men's rights / PUA / seduction community that has it in their heads that there was some mystical time not long ago when it was super easy to be a white male in a western nation.

Again . . . not entirely false.

But, facts are facts.  Feminism ain't goin' away.  All the dark people ain't goin' away.  Liberal society ain't goin' away.

Nor should they.

On balance, the march of progress for women and minorities has been a good thing for all people.  To the extent there have been failures, they result from a handful of causes.  One is a simple failure to appreciate how long and hard the road would be.  Two is an unwillingness to accept to some degree humanity will always suck.

But, three is the big issue in my mind.  Three?  Three is that we often badly overcompensated.

Divorce is the #1 offender in my view.

First, a little history.

Let's be clear about something.  Divorce used to be a really shit deal for women.  Up until the second great wave of women's liberation in the 1960s, a woman seeking a divorce could be buried by her old man.  It was not unheardof for men to just have their wives remanded to mental institutions in order to get out of marriages.  Women were regularly left destitute if they left their husband.  And the man stood a good chance of gaining custody of the children.

In many ways, the modern divorce system has simply flipped the rules.  Now it's the guy who gets buried.  The woman takes half his shit.  She gets the kids unless she is provably dangerous or just doesn't give a fuck.  She can seek divorce on the flimsiest of grounds.

All we did in western society is replace one shitty and unjust system with another shitty and unjust system.

To my mind, all this stuff is germane to discussion in the manosphere.  But, at some point you gotta let some of it go and just live your life.  The world sucks.  More terrifying: even though the world sucks, we live at the peak of human existence to-date.  You can't let that awful fact become a crutch that you lean on instead of confronting the world.

That's where I feel a disconnect with a lot of the PUA stuff from recent years.  You can't be telling these dysfunctional kids who just want to get laid that there's this massive conspiracy out there intent upon turning them into sexless eunuchs.  That isn't helpful.

But, sadly, that's about all there is left out in the so-called manosphere these days.  It's disappointing.

The fact is, people will always fuck.  Life finds a way, no matter how stupid and broken the prevailing system is at any one given time in history.  We're all here because a whole series of human beings before us made what amounts to fairly stupid and self-destructive decision: they fucked another human being.  Humans like fucking and they're not gonna stop it anytime soon.


Those are the ground rules today and in perpetuity.  If you allow more conscious issues to get in the way of your diving in and enjoying all the fuckery your ancestors enjoyed before you, that's your problem, not society's.  There's a whole slew of interracial kids out there who were conceived despite society's dumber ills.  Why?  Because humans fuck.  Every moment, somewhere, some couple is fucking right now.

That simple.  That's the baseline assumption.  Anything that deviates from that baselines assumption is not helpful. 

So, you're either in The Game or you're on the sidelines.  If you're on the sidelines, that's your choice.  That's your neurosis.  Don't think elaborate explanations of the grand anti-male conspiracy discharge you from your responsibility to go forth and fuck just as irresponsibly as your ancestors did before you.

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