Thursday, March 21, 2013

A Master Class in Verbal Combat With the Human Female: Craig Ferguson

I never get to sleep at a sane hour.  Downside is I probably have a Vitamin D deficiency.  Upside is I get to watch Craig Ferguson.

Craig Ferguson's late night talk show should be used by shool teachers working with kids with autism.  I'm not even entirely certain I mean that as a joke.  I've just never seen anyone in my life who quite had as perfect of a gift for shooting the shit with people as Craig Ferguson!

More important, the man is awesome at talking to hot chicks one-third his age.  Observe:

This kids is how ya do it.  Olivia Wilde is hot and she knows it.  She's in a position of superiority and she knows it.  And she shit tests Craig Ferguson even though it's a known fact the man is a gifted conversationalist.  So gifted they don't even bother scripting the show -- and people still pay him a couple million dollars to sit around with a robot and horse treating celebrities like they're retarded and making repeated dirty old man remarks to barely legal hotties.

How good is he?  Here's a compilation from YouTube of him  just plowing the dirty talk to a multitude of chicks:

This is how the fuck you do it, kids!

And here's a case where the chick really pushes back hard against his bullshit:

There's kino (see 2:18).  Lots of jokes.  Leaning in and out but never leaning in too aggressively.  At 4:50 he's got her playing with various trinkets.  And on and on and on.

The irony is he's not even that funny in these settings (overall, he's quite funny).  For the most part he just plows and plows with full-on game and force the chicks to come out and play at his speed.

My favorite Craig Ferguson move is when he just scoot his chair right over, spreads his legs and parks his right knee directly next to the chicks hand.  Big, open, dominant posture.  Pure fucking primatology stuff right there.  No hesitation.  No asking.  Just moves right over, parks his body right in her personal space and practically dares the chick to touch his knee.

Yeah, I know he has the Scottish accent.  And he's a fairly skinny and bright older guy with money.  I also know he's a former junkie who consumed every shitty chemical on earth and has somehow bullshitted a bunch of rich guys into giving him millions of dollars for doing nothing of redeeming value!

Craig Ferguson doesn't have game.  Craig Ferguson IS game.

Watch that shit.  Learn something.

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