I figure the blog's been up a while, and it might be worth going over some thoughts about where it's at now . . . here goes . . .
So many female readers
If there's one thing that disturbs me most, it's that this blog attracts a largely female readership. Nothing here is written from a female perspective or for a female audience. So the only reasonable answer I can imagine for why that might be is that a lot of women have a taste for angry, distant men that treat them like shit. Not that that's a particularly novel discovery, but it never quite ceases to amaze me.
Upset female readers
When I say this, I'm mostly referring to this post: Why are men so aloof and mean to the the girls they love?
One thing that really pisses me off about the female readership of this blog is that they're not looking for any real insights into dealing with a real relationship. They're just hoping that someone will hand them a quick trick for unlocking some aloof guy who they wanna bang.
It's disappointing. As this blog goes along, it becomes more and more a cautionary tale.
Except that begs the question, "Who the fuck am I bothering to caution?"
It's not like women want to be cautioned. When a chick wants to fuck a guy -- and especially when she wants to unlock an aloof guy and fuck him -- all bets are off. Women complain that men only have enough blood to operate their brain or their dick at any one time, but I've seen little evidence that women are any better. Guys may get stupid for more random girls, but when women get stupid for a specific guy it's pretty goddamned scary compared to how guys are.
I do wish they'd take some time to appreciate that it's not my job to help them better embrace their own pathology.
What the hell are the male reader doing?
This blog may be written from a male perspective, but I honestly have no fucking clue what most of the male readers are up to.My anger toward women who've been in my life
It never fails to astonish me how little women hold men accountable. For that matter, how little accountability figures into anything that women do when they like a guy. Sometimes I'm just thankful that I'm more of an avoidant than a sociopath, because I could leave behind a serious trail of wreckage if I were so inclined.It's depressing because there comes a point where you simply realize that women serve no policing function in their own sex lives. They just don't give a fuck. If they want the guy, there's no limit to where they'll allow the game to go. It makes it hard, as a man, to look at women with any level of respect at all. Women simply don't take ownership of their sex lives or their relationships in any form.
If everything in your world lands at my doorstep, then please be aware that I consider the people who put those things at my doorstep to be complete pieces of shit. It is not possible to respect a person who doesn't take ownership of their own life. By definition, that means that it is not possible to respect the overwhelming majority of adult women.
Everything in a relationship stops with how a woman feels toward a guy on a sexual level. If he keeps her in a terrible emotional state, but she's still aroused by him, then nothing else matters. Frankly, it makes it very hard to see women as anything except the suppliers of a warm hole.
Mind you, outside the relationship arena I believe women have immense value. There are whole industries that I believe should be turned completely over to women (banking, in particular). Successful female leaders are generally of greater value to society than successful male leaders. Competent women are very useful creatures.
Just . . . for the love of gawd I wish the female sexual response worked in a manner more conducive to modern living.
My own aloofness
I would like to say it has improved. It hasn't. It's gotten worse.
I cannot bring myself to take the idea of a meaningful, long-term relationship with a woman seriously. Honestly? At this point in my life I find women so unbelievably laughable that I cannot picture allowing one to stake claim to half of my shit or have any say in how I go about my life. I have no clue why anyone would allow that to happen to themselves.
To be blunt, women are highly interchangeable. I could easily count on one hand the number of women I've known who I even remotely think were worth my time.
In truth, I simply do not get what the value proposition is supposed to be. What the hell use is a woman in a man's personal life? Why would any man want a relationship? I just don't see it. You're welcome to answer those questions in the comments.
"Why would any man want a relationship? I just don't see it. "
ReplyDeleteThe answer to this is validation. From the time males are born to the day they die they are taught to receive, as an integral part of their lives, the validation of a female. The pre-sexual phase of male life is dominated by motherly love. She is his foundation for (mostly) unconditional validation and how he will primarily, unless through a lot of practice, relate to other females from then until he dies.
A father's validation, though relatively unconditional when compared to other males, is more conditional than a mother's. Men expect men to attain standards, much like women do the same for their sex, except male standards are based both on being masculine and on verifiable accomplishments. When men fail to meet other men's standards there is no respect. In times like those, when a guy's masculine public face is shot, he seeks a sanctuary much like his mother's embrace from childhood. This is where a relationship comes into play.
Guys pursue women not just because they want to fuck but because they wish to win validation. The conquering side of gaming a girl and having her spread for you is instilled by masculine ethics and the resulting reward, not just her pussy, but her acceptance of you as a dominant male figure in her life is similar to that "always there, in weakness or in strength" adoration of mom so long ago.
Guys who love the game, who love to run the game, who stay in love with the game, don't just love pussy. If all you cared about was pussy and you had your money right then you'd just fuck hookers. Business transaction and done; none of the hoop jumping, or dopamine high of having a female locked on your penis the moment her knees first buckle when realizing you're alpha enough to take her.
I've had the pleasure of working with your classic, outgoing, center of attention, charismatic to a fault, alpha salesmen. He pulled girls with the same amount of effort as he put into breathing. Yet he was always a slave to that drive and lived a fuck and play lifestyle. I don't think he ever recognized the fact that so much of his esteem and self identity was based on that validation, the conquering.
That's why guys want relationships. Beta males want to feel masculine. Alphas need that fix to keep their egos healthy and bloated. You, my friend, being as avoidant as you are, of course would see this as ludicrous.
I'll buy that argument.
DeleteI don't see it as ludicrous. I only get in that distant sort of way that I understand why my dog barks at the mailman. Knowing why my dog does something doesn't particularly instruct me as to how I should treat the mailman (hilarious though that scenario would be).
My sort of avoidant behavior can be a little difficult for people to wrap their heads around because I do seek that kind of detached sexual experience, but it doesn't do much for me when I have it. It's a here and done kind of thing for me.
I don't get a lot out of a woman physically surrendering. What I really enjoy is watching a women turn into a hopeless emotional wreck trying to get my attention. The more co-dependent the better.
But I never try to bring those two elements together. In truth, I'm scared of bringing them together because I can't imagine the wreck that would ensue from fucking someone who is as co-dependent as some of the women that orbit around me. I just don't have it in me to participate in that type of emotionally messy undertaking.
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DeleteThat my friend, follows your comment in the post regarding your predisposition toward an avoidant personality vs a sociopathic. This is what separates you from the other type the previous commenter mentioned.
ReplyDeleteThe (perhaps psychpathic) salesmen original commenter mentioned has an ego driven by bringing women to their knees mentally then physically to satiate his ego.
"Nothing here is written from a female perspective or for a female audience."
ReplyDeleteThat probably is precisely why you're getting so many female readers. Not worrying about how politically correct you are does wonders for originality.
I can't speak for the emotionally reactive though. Personally found this all very interesting, and linked it to a few of my guy friends, along with one girlfriend who I thought could benefit from some media variety.
Your writing is enjoyable. Looking forward to reading about your next adventure