[EDIT, Jan 2014: If you're a woman who's coming on here just to lecture me on how you like totally chew up and spit guys like me out, please save the hysterical behavior for some other dude. I get it, ladies . . . You're a precious little princess and you're gonna put me in my place. Yeah, sure, right. Girls make as wimpy of keyboard commandos as they do real life commandos, so save me your ego trip and consider barfing out your angst over your own failed sex life on someone else's blog.]
OK, I know I'm on a bit of a tear lately doing posts centered on inbound search queries, but . . . I also know that a good portion of my readership is made up of women asking the most fundamental question out there: why are men so aloof and mean to the girls they love?
Before I go into detail, on behalf of all the nice guys out there, I just want to remind the ladies that there are nice, non-distant men out there. And women have an absolutely horrific track record of ignoring them in favor of pricks like me. I've long insisted one of the big problems women have is that men who don't meet their first wave screening for sexual aggression traits are not even being counted as human.
So . . . just getting that out there ladies. Ya just might wanna at least give a dweeb half a chance before you go off complaining about me. Or guys that are worse than me!
Now that that is out of the way, let's address the why question . . .
I can only speak for myself. But, my aloofness begins with trust issues. As in, I just don't trust any fucking person. That's not completely true, but the amount of time it takes to become a person I trust is prohibitive to a romantic relationship. I expect loyalty from people. I mean, old-fashioned "you grab the arms and I'll grab the legs and we'll throw this body in the pit" loyalty.
You gonna give a guy you just met that kind of loyalty? Probably not.
Safe operating distance
Truth be told, I find that humanity and I operate better at a particular distance. Just as you don't want to stick your face right into a smelter, I've found interpersonal relationships work better for me at a distance greater than arm's length.
Young women are a complete fucking joke
To put it brutally, women of breeding age aren't particularly worthy specimens when you get right down to it. And women of non-breeding age . . . well, I'm not trying to breed with them for the most part.
The average female in her 20s makes a complete embarrassment of herself. She humiliates herself chasing bad boys. She ignores nice guys. She tells herself a slew of ridiculous lies to protect her ego from her own incompetence. And then one day she wakes up 30 years old and wonders how it all went to shit.
If I treat a chick like dirt, she follows me around like a lost puppy. If I treat a chick nice, she picks on me. If I ignore a chick, she goes out of her way to draw my attention. If I pay attention to her, she acts like I should go fuck myself.
If we're being honest, why would anyone take such a creature seriously?
Only a complete imbecile (or a guy) would fail to figure out the pattern.
Life's tough and you're a terrible fit
I have never met a woman who I thought was even remotely up to the task of being the mother of my children. So precisely why the hell should I care?
Maybe you're deluding yourself?
Are you so sure this aloof man who is being mean to you loves you? Maybe your brain should cut off the line to your ovaries for a couple months and see if you get better results.
Maybe I'm just a prick
Be honest. Go back and read everything I've posted. Consider how similar to all the women in my life you are, sunshine. It might just be a wake up call.
I'm 35 years old and I have never told a woman I love her. Think very hard on that.
Maybe you're broken and just like chasing aloof guys
One thing I absolutely hate about women is their propensity to think they're somehow exempt from all the bullshit other women have gone through. It is un-fucking-real the number of women who truly believe they're a unique and beautiful snowflake fluttering through life looking for their one and onliest soulmate. Please stop doing this.
Consider the other possibility: you are broken and you enjoy chasing aloof men.
To paraphrase a line from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, I'm some kind of notion to women. I'm the brooding, distant, difficult man that just needs the right girl to come along. And of course every girl who goes for me thinks she's The One.
You might want to consider that I am not worth the effort. Consider the astonishing amount of years that women have wasted waiting for me to come around. Again, take a read of the shit I have posted and just think of all the wasted human life all that shit represents. Happiness postponed. Relationships postponed. Lives postponed. Children postponed. All waiting for one guy to come around because, by jove, you're The One and he's worth it!
Bullshit. You're a dumbass. And I'm a prick.
The Those Other Bitches Problem
One of the big problems women have is what I call The Those Other Bitches Problem. Women's perverse need to think they're special leads to the belief that when they in deep for a guy that his faults aren't his faults. Women believe that whatever didn't work out in that guy's previous relationships, it was the fault of . . . Those Other Bitches.
Those Others Bitches . . . they didn't understand him like I do.
Those Others Bitches . . . they didn't love him like I do.
Those Others Bitches . . . they didn't try hard enough.
Those Others Bitches . . . they aren't me.
Let's be clear: you are just the latest chick to sign up to be added to a list that some future chick will call Those Others Bitches. You are a Future Other Bitch. That's a dumb idea. Don't let it happen.
Women always think they're so fucking special. And they always think their love is so fucking special. And they always think that this broken guy they crave is just waiting for her.
No, I'm not. Too many of Those Other Bitches have already tried. And ya wanna know the truth? A lot of Those Others Bitches were better options than you. Yeah, it's a nasty deal. But, tough shit. Not my problem, kitten.
Fixing a broken man isn't worth the effort
I realize that women roll their eyes at this because all the subpar specimens make them want to barf. Who wants to buy a new Toyota Camry when you can fix up an old '64 Shelby Daytona? (Just look them both up in Google image search to comprehend the metaphor.)
The problem is that men aren't cars. You order parts to fix an aloof man online. You know it;s true, because you're reading this because you went online looking for ways to fix an aloof man. You are reading this right now because that was, in fact, your entire clever plan in sum.
Disabuse yourself of this notion now.
I'm not some abstract notion
This is the biggest mistake women make with a guy like me. I exist right at the junction of the female need to nurture and the female need to fuck an aggressive male. Lots of women like me because I am at once a broken little boy they want to fix and a mean old man that will fuck someone up. It's potent mix for women. Women like the idea that big, scary, distant, violent man can also be a quiet, distant, kind boy. That shit is catnip for women.
The problem is, let's say it works out for you. Now you have to live with me, dumbass. You have to raise kids with me. Pay bills with me. How do you think that's going to work out?
The problem with women is that they're always fucking the guy in their head. And of course, the guy in her head is special. The guy in her head is going to break out of his shell and love her. The guy in her head is just being distant because he doesn't know how to love -- and guess who is going to teach him, amirite? The guy in her head is just mean because he needs someone to pull him in. The guy in her head is just a wonderful mystery waiting to be sorted out.
The problem is you don't get to live with the guy in your head. You get stuck with me.
Maybe you just like pining because it safer
Some women love aloof guys because they know it isn't going to work out. And all those months of pining and pining allow her to just going on fucking the guy in her head. No need to bother with the real thing. You've got something better!
Guess what, shithead? That's clinical neurosis. Enjoy.
So, the problem is you, dear
It's not healthy to chase guys like me. Fix yourself, bitch.