This one was from OK Cupid. The kinda girl OK Cupid was built for in fact: bisexual, bipolar. No, I am not making up a joke.
We had chatted a lot before I decided to give her a shot. She was upfront about the bipolar, so that won her a few points.
I actually initially messaged her just to find out what all the crazy shit in her profile was about. What I quickly surmised is that her profile is a filtering profile. A lot of folks, especially women, configure their profiles to deliberately screen people out. Now, most just lazily post some "if you're a cheater, a loser, a scumbag" profile that pretty tells every guy who is like that that he can game her.
This chick's profile was more trippy hippie. Whatever. It takes many kinds. Plus, I had never dated a bipolar chick, so I figured, what the fuck, why not?
So, I pick her up from her place, because she does not drive. We go to a restaurant, eat and converse for a while. Things go well, so we opt to head to a bar. Bar is sausage-y as fuck, but the convo is still going well, so eventually we relocate to a second bar that's a little more hapennin.
Things eventually go south when she decides to start chatting up the bouncer and just won't stop, despite multiple major hints that I'd like to move on. Finally I just abandon her ass then and there and go sit by myself while open mic night people perform.
Eventually she tracks me down -- twenty minutes later! She tells me how rude I was, I tell her whatever, I didn't enjoy watching her hit on the bouncer. We go outside so she can have her smoke and sure enough she starts hitting on a band guy who was outside!
She lights into me again about how off-base I am. She says something to effect of "maybe you should go home". So, I go ahead to leave and she starts into me for leaving. I tell her hey, you're the one who told me to leave and just keep walking.
And then she utters what I still consider one of the most hilariously desperate things I've ever heard a woman tell me: "When you've had a couple days to think about, call me!"
O. M. F. G. Wow.
I tell her something like, "I'm walking and whatever you have to say, you say now because I'm gone." She storms back into the bar and slams the door behind her.
End of second date. Terrible date. Hilarious story.