Wednesday, February 27, 2013

The core problem in online dating

Self-selection bias.

More than any factor, self-selection bias is the problem that wrecks all of online dating.  Simply put, you can't have a group of people who have self-selected for failure collect aggressively all in a single spot and expect anything besides further failure.  There are just too many damaged and broken people in online dating for there to be any real hope.

My experience of online dating is that it is littered with women whose level of skittishness and fear makes a middle school dance look like the Players' Ball.

There's nothing wrong with being level-headed about strangers.  Don't get me wrong on that aspect.  But, at some point you have to make an effort and take a bit of risk.  You agree to meet in a very public place.  You travel separately.  You keep the first date non-sexual and below two hours.

It's not a hard event to build a template for doing.

The problem is that the women in online dating are like dealing with an abused alley cat who is begging for food.  On the one hand they are desperate beyond comprehension for attention.  A lot of them are so horny their eyes are about to spin.  On the other hand, they're all afraid of all the random broken shit that has kept them single this long.

And that all means their behavior is even more schizo than you'd expect from the average female.

I had it in my head that I needed to try something different.  Change up.   Try a different dating pool.  Well . . . ?  The online dating pool is rancid.

Simply put: if you're remotely attractive and even remotely capable of socialization, online dating is an utter waste of your time.  You're going to exert more effort to experience worse outcomes than you're getting in real life.  Not worth doing.  None of it.

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