Sunday, July 14, 2013

Your once every couple months service announcement about aloofness

There are basically two demographics who come to this blog.  The big demographic is women trying to figure out an aloof guy, especially an aloof guy who isn't engaging her to her satisfaction.  The second and much smaller demo is guys who are trying to figure out how to be that aloof guy in order to tie some poor girl into pretzels twists.

First, the guys

I do not deny any guy the right to want to feel like I do when a chick sits down next to me and starts going stupid trying to get my attention.  It is fun.  Addictive.  And like a lot of fun and addictive things involving sexuality and strangers, it's not healthy.

I get why guys who don't get attention from women want what I have.  Trust me, as an egotistical piece of shit who enjoys being aloof and watching women lose their shit trying to figure me out, I can easily appreciate where a guy who has never enjoyed that moment would really, really want in on it.  Pass the pipe, motherfucker!  Right?

The thing is do you really want to be so emotionally dysfunctional that you reach 35 years old without ever having told a single woman that you love her?  That's a serious question.  Because if you model your life on my life, that's what you're going to get.  You get the dark emotional satisfaction of committing what amounts to a very subtle form of abuse.  And you are gaining this in exchange for a lifetime of the low hum misery in the background of your existence of knowing you are going to die unloved and alone.

Aloofness is a hell of drug.  For both sexes.  Women who like aloof men have a hard time getting off it.  Men who like being aloof toward women -- and yes, I absolutely enjoy being aloof toward women -- are never going to get off the stuff.

Don't fool yourself into thinking you can handle it in tactically small doses.  Odds are, you're too fucking clumsy to even pick up, let alone deliver it properly into your system.  Aloofness is like swearing.  The really good swearers are missing a small piece of their soul badly enough that all they think when they wake up in the morning is "oh, super . . . the world is still here".  FTR, I am a really good swearer.  Aloof + swearer = I'm missing a piece of my soul about the size of a small northeastern U.S. state.

Sexuality is about authenticity.  Or at least a level of commitment to fakeness that feels authentic enough that when the mask is pealed back you kinda stop and go, "Shit, I sorta respect how sociopathic that was!"  If you're not aloof by nature, you're not going to fake your way toward it.

Think about this for a minute.  I've had two relationships in my life that spanned, in off and on form, at least two years.  I've written about the one.  The other I am not so prepared to talk about, even in anonymous form.  That's four years of never telling two very involved and very eager girls "I love you".  That's a special sort of damaged.  You're not gonna fake that shit.  I promise.

Social game

The PUA blogs hit one key point I think guys should really listen to.  Dominating a social moment is the key component to getting girls.  Women want a man who is socially adept.  There's a reason unfuckably ugly guys like Mick Jagger become rock singers.  Standing in front of a large crowd having everyone waiting for you is the ultimate form of social proof.  Whoever has the most social proof wins.  The End.

You really want to get girls?  Develop some form of legitimate social proof that puts eyes on you.  And don't try to chickenshit your way to it.  I've seen good-looking guys on hot motorcycles ride the fuck home alone at 2am.  Women have an evolved bullshit detector.  The best way to avoid failing bullshit detection is to legitimately do something that makes you the rock star at the exact moment the girl you want is on her ovulation cycle.  When she's in her wanting mode, you want to be the one thing everyone can't stop talking about at that exact moment.

Fat fuck comedians do it.  Evolutionary dead end looking rock star heroin addicts do it.  Big dick real estate moguls do it.  Cocaine dealers do it.  That nice guy running the hippie charity to give shoes to war orphans is doing it -- with a fucking side of hipster fucktard SWPL chic to boot!  (LONG MEANINGLESS POLITICAL ASIDE WARNING!!  In fact, that's pretty much why every hetero white male in the Democratic Party puts up with them.  Do you honestly believe Bill Clinton gives a rat's ass about black people?  No single president in American history passed more laws to toss black folks in jail than the Big Dog.  And he was the last Democrat to win Georgia, too.  It was a scam.  Ka-ching, baby!)

That's how it's done, kids.

And now for the ladies

I'm not gonna warn you off the aloof guys.  I know better than to try.  In a sea of needy losers, it's not hard to understand why women see the damaged aloof guy as the island they want to swim toward.  I get it.  But, you have to assume you're going to fucking drown before you ever get there.  If a seaworthy boat comes along, take it.

Women have a long history (sometimes called all of human history) of investing themselves in damaged men.  But, there's is no upside value to be had from investing yourself in a man who is never, ever going to love you back, provide for you or have children with you.  In fact, depending on how distant an aloof man is toward you, there's a good chance he's not even going to fuck you.  And in many cases, he's barely even going to talk to you.

Do you really want to be the girl who spends the better part of two years nibbling around the edges of a passing acquaintance with a guy in the outside hope he somehow comes around to seeing your virtues?  Or maybe you'd rather be this chick, who at least owned up to it enough to crash and burn after putting in her two years of suffering?  Or maybe you can just embarrass yourself in the first five minutes?  Or maybe you do get a piece from the aloof guy and hope it's enough to bridge to a relationship, only to then crash and burn?

Go read all those links.  Seriously.  Think about what has to be going on in your life to want to do any of that.  And truth be told, I don't post the worst stories.  The ones that make me really uncomfortable stay in cold storage.  The shit I post on here is the stuff pleasant enough that I can stand writing about it.

Things I hate about women

Women are so accustomed to how dumb men are around them that they have no clue how to react toward me.  Most just close shop, reorganize and then come back for a second try.  Rinse and repeat is a popular choice when confronted by an aloof guy.

One thing I absolutely hate about women is that once a woman feels something she believes it to be an immutable truth of the universe.  At least until she stops feeling it.  Then you're a loser or a creep or an asshole for making her lose that feeling (it's never her, after all, because she's a fucking princess).

When a woman falls for an aloof man, nothing will knock her off that feeling.  His actions mean nothing to her.  In fact, the only thing that will knock her down a peg at all is seeing him have a positive interaction with a more attractive woman.  Everything else in the universe is meaningless.  She wants the aloof guy and she's going to spend as much time dating the guy in her head as necessary to bridge the time between now and when the real guy beings to act like the guy in her head (which is to say "never").

In fact, that's a big one I hate.  You can watch these girls sit there and fall in love with the guy in her head.  I believe it's one of the most addictive aspects of falling for an aloof guy.  Because now a girl gets to spend all her time in an idealized relationship in a risk-free environment.  Why even bother trying for a relationship when you can masturbate to the best relationship of your life every night?

I realize I don't give a chick a lot to work with.  But, here's the thing . . . I'm under no obligation to help you out.  It's not my job to make it easier for you to fuck me.  If you want to fuck me bad enough, I guarantee you there are proven ways to find whether I'll do it or not.  Frankly, the old school "Are you queer?" question works pretty well.  Or smack me in the face.  That worked.

If you really want the aloof guy, give up your female pretensions and cut through the noise.  Make an overtly sexual move and see what he does.  Park yourself right on his arm.  Bare skin on bare skin.  See what happens.  Any lesser strategy is pointless and just an overt admission that you're too weak to get what you want.  If you really want the dead-eye man who is ignoring you, make it impossible for him to ignore you.  See what happens.  Oh, and don't whine if he's really just not attracted to you.


  1. You're my new favorite blogger. I find your insight (and pathos) fascinating. I like how you break down the female approach. I've been talking about that for years.

    I'm aloof... with women I don't like. If a girl approaches me super eager and desperate, I want nothing to do with her. But no matter how stone faced and disinterested I become, they keep trying. Right now there is this girl doing backflips to get me to go out with her. I've snubbed all her advances, so now she has befriended my friends. She keeps trying to arrange group outings in the hopes I will be there. One of my friends made plans with her thinking it was a date. When she found out I wasn't going to be there, she bailed.

    If I do meet a girl I like, as soon as I warm up to her... her interest evaporates. They don't like me when I like them. I even had a girl straight up tell me she liked me more when I was cold and distant. Ouch!

    I try to act aloof when I'm with a girl I like but its no use. They can see right through that shit. You can't fake disinterest; you have to actually *not* be interested. That is depressing.

  2. "You can't fake disinterest; you have to actually *not* be interested. "

    That's the advantage that I have. I instinctively work to break a girl down if I like her.